Thank You Lord!
I give an honor to God, to Bishop, Gods Most Precious Jewel, and to you reading:
When I look back over my life and I think things over, I can’t help but say, “thank you Lord”. Whenever I take time to reflect, I can see every step the Devil took to try to kill me. It was a process he started early, so it could kill me now, not physically but mentally. The Devil used a void, an absence, he used my biological father. I had never met him, never had any type of relationship, yet he had the power to cause me so much pain. Enough pain that I thought I would never forgive him.
Enough pain that the thought of it brought tears to my eyes. Enough pain that after a while, I become numb to it. If I didn’t know any better, I would ask how the Bishop knew exactly what to say, exactly what to preach on. I would wonder how the Bishop knew about the emptiness I felt. How did he know that that was my dark place? — Figuring out why I wasn’t enough of who was responsible to blame. How did he know I cried myself to sleep some nights, until I couldn’t cry anymore? How did he know exactly what to say about God, my ultimate father? How did he know to tell me that no matter who didn’t choose me, God chose me and he will never leave me nor forsake me? How did he know the words that would change my life forever and allow me to see God in a whole new light?
This is when God touched me for the very first time and this, I can’t ever and shall never forget. This is when I realized that God was also in a process. A process of transforming a very hurt little girl in the world, into a 17-year old Walking Deacon, a praise-dancer, an usher, a worshipper, and a servant on the battlefield for the Lord. A process of making me stronger, wiser, and better. A process of turning me around from being who I wanted to be, to who God called me to be. A process of turning what the Devil meant for evil, into good ! Back then, I would have never imagined I could be who I am now. I would never think that the Deziah who was once crying over the absence of her father, is now Walking Deacon Deziah crying tears of joy for the change, the peace, the happiness, the love, the grace and the mercy that God, my first father, brings into my life.
So yes, when I think things over I see that God always heard my cry, even though I wasn’t saying his name. He always saw my pain even when I didn’t know who he was. He always stopped my crying and comforted my heart, even when I didn’t know it was him that was drying my eyes. He saw darkness and he shined his marvelous light. So again, I thank you Lord and I also thank my Bishop, Reverend Lawrence E. Edgerton Sr., who has been with me every step of the way and has never given up on me. So I will march on because my journey has only begun. My God has predestined me for greatness and I want to see what else God has in store for me because I know he isn’t finished with me yet !
May God add a blessing to the reading of these words ! Amen